if you think this is funny, we can be friends. If you are reading this, chances are, we are probably already friends anyways.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs playing in the leaves?

....Russell.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs who gets into a fight with a cat?

.....Claude.

What do you do with epileptic lettuce?

....you make a seizure salad!

What did 0 say to 8?

.....hey, nice belt. :)

What did the psychiatrist say when a man wearing nothing but saran wrap walked into his office?

....i can clearly see you're nuts.

What did the police man say to his tummy?

....iv'e got you under a vest!

What is brown an sticky?

.....a stick.