2009.

Though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls. - 1 Peter 1:6-9

2009.

The year when I experienced the mot genuine peace, is also the year I watched my life turn upside down. The year when I saw the most love, is also the year I saw the most pain.

Well I believe I've only gotten to see that peace because of God's grace and Holy Spirit. And also the fact that He has never left me and never will. And that is a fact because it is His promise.

Secondly, I've learned that in this life, with love comes pain.

So why would I keep loving with my greatest ability, if I can already see the dooming possibility of love's counterpart?

Ironically, as someone who has/had a great fear of being hurt, I will tell you.

1. Big picture- God will ultimately carry you through pain. He also will make you capable of loving more than you every have before. This also requires you to give Him all that you can of your heart and will.

2. If not for any other reason, love for the sake of not letting satan get what he wants. This world is full of pain but despite it and in response to it, God will do work that is good. So despite the scariness of pain, don't let the fear satan wants you to feel get in the way of the love you can experience.

3. God is love. this brings me to my next point...

4. "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love."

But warning, after you put yourself out there after choosing love over fear, do not be surprised by the amount of pain that is possible for you to feel. Instead, be patient, for God does not fix things immediately. But also find assurance in the fact/promise that God will not give us more than we can handle.